Banish Fear

Am I the only one who writes posts and never gets a chance to put them up?

First of all, I want to say I apologize. I have always wanted to be more in touch with all my internet-horse friends here. Life just seems to keep “getting in the way.” The thought of you all continuing in your writing here, even when I couldn’t, has always been a comfort, and I’m sure it will be in the future.

I’ve had a post written, describing our new pony, for the longest time. I think someday I may get to post it. Right now, I need to tell you that my husband may have a life and death battle ahead. He is in the process of getting diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

We are not afraid of cancer. Pancreatic is one of the most dangerous and deadly. We know Jesus can heal anyone and anything, but if Scott does go to heaven because of this, God is no less powerful. Our faith and trust are with the Lord first, and the medical second. In addition, we always inform ourselves as much as possible on things.

We are in the greatest cancer research and treatment area in the world. Sloan-Kettering in New York suggested a place only a couple of hours from us: (Norris Cotton) Dartmouth...and they specialize in this type of cancer at their center in Lebanon, New Hampshire.

The love of our children, family, and friends, has been awesome, as well as the outreach of our  community. No matter what happens, Scott says I will be able to keep the horses, and he wants me to. He is right. Their therapy is priceless. I hope I don't even have to make these decisions.

The children and I will still be working with the horses sometimes: leading them through obstacles was my plan, and some riding. I see them at least once a day right now and spend time with them. They get fed and seen four times a day and the children do the feedings which I cannot make it to.

I just really know that any time with them will save sanity and perhaps lives at this point!

I really don’t know what else to say, except don’t fret and grieve. Scott is still alive—and he’s with us. Even more importantly, God is with us. It’s not over until it’s over. We’ve gotten that type of "there is no hope left" phone call before, and this is not that. I am thankful that we get to have a fight. No matter what happens, Scott will be okay, either here or in heaven, right? But we sure don't want to end that story NOW!

I have accepted that my husband could live or die. Every day is already like that: when we get in our cars and share the roads with people who drink and drive or text and drive…so many countless things can take a person to their next destination. Right now, we are being careful to “err on the side of life” and not give up. I will come back on and update if I am able. At some point, I will definitely let you all know how it works out. Above all, God has us in His capable Hands. I am ready, because I know He cares and Loves us all. Don’t worry: I still have dreams. Oh! And if you pray, please PRAY.


p.s. I have some pictures:

Dreamer and Ginger

new family members: Cortez and Mittens

 Aislinn finally  got her bunny. Mittens is hers. The boys were given Cortez. When you are a bunny or a cat and you live with a little girl, you might get dressed up. Aislinn is delighted that Mitten's white on her face is exactly like Ebony's blaze. Mittens helped Aislinn with her grief over Ebony a lot. The bunnies themselves have given us lots of healing love. 

Spring! Isn't Ginger beautiful? 

Blue Larkspur, Black Toney, the Tetrarch,
and I love these names:

Summer Girl and North Star

This horse is in Dreamer's pedigree. 


Oak Creek Ranch said...

Hang in there. Be good to yourself. Post when you can and don't worry about it when you can't. And, I'll be praying.

Calm, Forward, Straight said...

Heck Allison...

Your outlook is beautiful. You and your husband are so courageous. Your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Much love-

Linda said...

I'm glad you have your faith and hope, and I'll add my prayers.

Once Upon an Equine said...

You have great faith. God bless you and your family through this trial.

Nice pictures of the horses. And there is nothing more delightful than a well attired bunny!

Wendy said...

Hugs to you and I admire your outlook!

Allison said...

Thank you, all! <3

My son Saul has started a blog site for updates which I am helping to author.

As soon as the first posts are up, I'll put the link up on my page here.

I am getting to the horses, every day, even if it's just to rub noses. But I think on my days at home, we will be able to do something, even if it's 2ce a week.

The grass is growing in our pastures that Scott put in with the children and me last year.

I appreciate everyone's good thoughts and prayers more than I can say. You are all special to me! XO

juliette said...

Sorry I missed this Allison. Much love and prayers to you and Scott and your family. I hope you are doing well.

Allison said...

Don't worry Juliette, it's not very new: sorry you had to hear this way. I'm doing alright: Thank God for a lot of things, like the horses. <3