I don't know if it's because I have learned to pay attention to infants, or I have read so much about horse communication, but since having horses as a kid, I am so much better at understanding what is really going on with my horse. Sometimes. It is most likely a combination of both.
Today after Dream ate his grain, he was ready to go back outside. Except one thing: I needed to pick his feet. This horse has a routine: eat grain, drink water, and then eat more hay or leave. Today he wanted to leave. As soon as I put up the rubber stall gate, he was alarmed. He didn't even drink his water. All he could fathom was being cut off from Ebony.
He walked to the stall guard and looked out. He stamped his back leg (I scolded him.) I was not yet in the stall, but then I entered. Now the old me would have just walked up, caught him with the halter and lead rope, tied him, and started my business. And if it were not a balmy, sunny twenty-something degrees outside, I still may have done that. But today, I actually did something right, and smart.
I waited.
I talked to him, I read his signs, and whenever I saw or 'felt' him looking toward me, I praised him. Soon he forgot about Ebony and decided that life with me isn't actually so bad, anyway. After all, all I ever do is feed him or groom him! I was already encouraging him to "come here." He knew that's what I wanted, because I had the halter & lead in my hand. (Horses are smart and I get so much further ahead when I give them credit for their brains.)
Within less than 2 minutes he decided to come over to me at the stall door. (I had previously been looking at his butt.) He asked for a head scratching. I know I'm not supposed to scratch my horse, but I can't resist. I always make him move a step or two away from me after I scratch his head for him, so that I am still the leader. Sometimes I rub on him, too. You should see his face when I do that!
So, then he slipped into the halter nicely, I tied him, he relaxed and chewed, he drank is water finally, he took a bite of hay. His mind was saying, "I'm tied in the stall. Not going anywhere. Easy."
He picked up his front feet as soon as I tapped them. I think if I'd had gone too fast and ignored his feelings, I'd have had a horrible experience getting his feet cleaned. I know this is an obvious thing, but it was great to see it in perfect clarity today. We can't rush our horses into feeling okay. We can coax and guide, but we can't bulldog in like some leader who has a right to their minds and hearts.
As usual, this is the same for raising children. My kids get upset. I want to fix it. I wish I were better at waiting, listening, coaxing, and being there in season. It's all about relationship. Easy with animals, challenging with people. Go figure!
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1 comments:
I think waiting is probably the hardest thing for us to do. WE know what the end result is going to be, it's just getting our horse(s) to acknowledge that. Sometimes it takes a really long time for them to feel right about what we are asking them to do. ONce they get it, and accept it, it seems like it should have been this way all along. Great that you were no discouraged by the weather (as warm as it may be :)...I sometimes cut my lessons short, if it's real cold. I always end on a positve note, even if it's something just did a few days ago.
Patience and waiting go a long way. I've found it to be helpful in many situations. Especially with Sonny. I admit, sometimes I feel as though I've aged waiting for him, but I've also learned that if you have to wait for a response too long, you can break their concentration or sometimes lack of, and redirect them. Sonny has a tendency to over analize things, but in the end I wind up leading. For us it's human nature to be in control, for horses if not in control, they are okay with you being a good leader, no questions asked.
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